it is funny how views change. I remember, when I was younger, I did not really care about New Years. Not that I didn’t care at all, but it wasn’t as special to me as it is now. I guess I adopted a different view.
I used to sit during the time between Christmas and New Years and come up with dreams for the new year – things I was hoping to do, things I was hoping to see, things I was hoping that would happen. I never really looked back at the past year and in retrospective I have to say that there really wasn’t much to look back at. I was just waiting for great things to happen.
The last few New Years have been different. I don’t really look forward to the new year in a sense that I dream of what could be – I rather spend time thinking about what happened in the old year. And I think that’s a major shift in my world view. I’m not terribly nostalgic or anything, I’m not particularly sad that this year is over, but nevertheless it marks a few great events in my life. It is, for sure, a year I will not forget.
Patriarchs like to put pretty much everything into boxes, that’s what they’re best at. Well I have to admit I’m very much a box person. There’s a little box in my head which I have been putting all those great events of the past year into, hoping that I will never lose them. Finishing school is one of them. Starting university another. The many great days in which I felt like it would be the end of my life but turned out to be real good. The days with friends, laughing in the sun, coffee in the city, getting dressed up for date nights, wanting to scream out all that energy and wishing that we could live in those moments forever.
Recently, D and I sat on the couch, watching a movie, me just slightly asleep, I told him that I wouldn’t mind the least if the world stopping right now and things would be like this forever. He laughed and I asked him why. He said that I wouldn’t want that to happen. Again, I asked him why, and he replied that my butt would get real sore and I would wish that it would end soon. Sometimes this guy doesn’t realize how much to the point his ideas are. The beauty of a moment seems to be not necessarily defined by itself but rather by the collection of moments in each day, good and bad. A moment of relaxation doesn’t come without prior exhaustion, like everything, it’s the balance which makes something remarkable.
Tomorrow night will be a fun night with friends, and after that, a new year will begin. I think I can finally stop caring about the new year and instead treasure these last moments with the old one. Because, you know, very few things in life are for certain and I can promise you, one of them is the new year. It will come along, no matter how hard you wish to stop it, or push it in this or that direction. It will come and do whatever it will, and besides that, there’s nothing much you can change. So let’s all just try to remember one moment in our lives that we want to treasure for the rest of our lives and say goodbye to the old year.
Oh my, I kind of sound like an old lady on TV. Well, please try to see it instead as the thoughts of a 20 something year old who doesn’t know much about old and new years except that we’re all in it together