Broken Daughters

Picking up the shattered glass of fundamentalism

No title


I haven’t written a post in forever. That is because, until two days ago, I was back with my family in the US. It wasn’t planned and it turned out to be a horrible trip.

My aunt and my mother have regular talks on the phone. Usually my aunt will call my mother because Dad doesn’t like spending that much money on a long distance call. So it came that, on Monday, October 17th, my aunt went ahead to call my mother. My brother picked up the phone, as she told me later, and when she asked for my mother he explained that she wasn’t home but in the hospital. My sister was very ill and needed Mom to be with her.

You see, my sister was born with PKD. That’s a kidney disease which causes the kidneys to grow larger than normal and to be filled up with cysts instead of normal, healthy tissue. It’s a condition you can live with some time, but you’ll need a new kidney at some point. It can influence other organs as well sometimes (due to abnormal kidney size and function). Patients bodies must be cared for very well, they may not do too much physical exercise and should avoid too much contact with other people (bacteria). One thing that comes with this condition is almost constant urinary tract infection infections especially in females. My entire female family is beaten with UTI issues, as I am, but I don’t have a severe condition. I simply have many UTIs. It’s quite annoying, if you had one of them, you know what I’m talking about.

Either way, my sister always had many UTIs. We needed to be very careful with that as the bacteria might infect the kidneys and cause severe illness in her (unlike me, who didn’t have this specific issue with the UTIs). She needed quick medication whenever she had one, and that was often.

My brother told my aunt that apparently a simple UTI moved up to the kidneys, causing my sister to be very ill at that point. She was admitted to the hospital, where they found that the illness had almost destroyed one of her kidneys. It didn’t look too good for that kidney at this point.

My aunt filled me in right after she hung up. I was shocked. I mean, my sister had been to the hospital many times, but never had I heard such bad news from her. I urged my aunt to call again to find out more. She got my siblings to call Mom at the hospital, who called my aunt back a while later. My aunt put the call on speakers for me to hear. I just wanted to listen but my Mom started crying and I couldn’t help myself but talk to her. She told me that it looked bad and that they were going to wait the night for improvement but they’d probably have to remove the kidney. My aunt offered me to pay for a ticket back to the US and on Tuesday morning I had decided to go for it.

I didn’t know which hospital she was in – not even if she was in a bigger hospital in some other city than the one my parents live in. I didn’t know anything really. I rented a car at the airport and decided to drive home to see if I could find any family members, friends or neighbors there.

Luckily most of my family was home. A family friend was over, helping out with my siblings. She immediately let me in without asking where I came from, what I wanted or anything. My siblings were very happy to see me, though they were very confused at my looks. I wore skinny jeans, a shirt, and after all I cut my hair much shorter than it was when they last saw me. It has a different, darker color now too. I looked a bit alien to them. The happiness of seeing me again quickly vanished as I asked them what happened. They didn’t know much more than what my brother already told my aunt, except that my sister was still at the hospital, my Mom was there too, Dad had to work. They could tell me where she was and I got ready to head out again to see my sister. They held me back for a bit, asking me a lot of questions about my sister, none of which I could answer.

I managed to leave an hour after I arrived at the house and headed to the hospital. I quickly found out where she was, but couldn’t go in just like that. After all, I looked different in ways of dress and behaviour than the rest of my family. They weren’t sure if I really was the sister and informed my mother to come see me and confirm who I was. My mother came out to me, looking confused, shocked, worn out, teary, horrible. She told me that my sister had surgery the day before, the kidney had to be removed, no chance otherwise. She wasn’t awake yet, she was put into a coma, as the infection was still raving in her body. I was allowed to see my sister and I almost wish I didn’t. I have never seen somebody look so pale, so without any life. I don’t know much, it was all a blur. My Dad came to see her with some of my siblings. They weren’t allowed to go in at that point due to the danger of bringing in more infection.

On Friday, October 21st of 2011, my little sister died at the age of 15 due to kidney failure.

I’m sorry for cutting this off right here, I just don’t have any more in me at this point. I will write more once the time comes.

34 thoughts on “No title

  1. Oh my word!!! I’m sooo sorry!!!!!! ((((hugs))))

  2. I am so sorry to hear that. Peace.

  3. I am so, so, sorry. I’ll be praying for you.

  4. I’m so sorry. Praying for you and for your family. What a horrible loss.

  5. i’m so sorry lisa. *hugs* from california.

  6. Oh, Lisa. I am so sorry for you and your family. My thoughts are with you all.

  7. So, so sorry! Sending prayers from Germany.

  8. I am so, so sorry. I am crying for you and praying for you.

  9. I have been thinking you a lot lately, as I have missed you and your posts. I am so very sorry to hear about your poor sister. I send you love and hugs.

  10. I am soooooo sorry. Sending hugs.

  11. I’m so sorry. Sending prayers and hugs your way.

  12. I’m so, so, incredibly sorry. Write (and don’t write) what you want, when you want—what helps you, what heals you, whatever you need to get through this. Hang in there. I don’t know if anonymous hugs from across the internet can help, but if they can, they’re here for you.

  13. I am so sorry to hear about your sister. Praying for you and your family at this time.

  14. Oh honey! That must have been such an incredible shock. I’m so so sorry. I hope you are surrounded by people who can give you hugs and help you along the path of grief. I’m thinking of you, we all are.

  15. Such a tragic waste. To the extent it matters, I hope you get the emotional support you need through this crisis.

  16. I’m so sorry for your loss. My 1st husband died of kidney failure due to uncontrolled high blood pressure, so I can definitely empathize. (((((HUGS)))))

  17. Even though I only know you from reading your story, I felt terribly sad for your sister and for you. You have been through so much and have shown such strength. As others have said, I hope you have friends who can help you through this loss. If you find yourself alone (or just struggling to stay sane while dealing with your parents), you might consider talking to a therapist. I’ve tried it and found it better than having no one to talk to!

  18. I somehow knew when you did not post for a while that you were with your family in the US. I am so sorry it was because of something so horrible as that. I hope it meant something to your family that you came even if they disagree with your lifestyle.

  19. My deepest sympathies and condolences on your loss.

  20. I can’t imagine. Even when there are many many siblings, each one matters just as much as if there were only a few. I grieve with you. Keep your chin up.

  21. You don’t know me because I generally only lurk, but I am so deeply sorry to hear of your loss. Please take care of yourself during this awful time – you have all my sympathy.

  22. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  23. I am so very sorry. I know that words don’t comfort at a time like this. Know that I am thinking and praying for you and your family.

  24. Lots of hugs!! I’m so sorry

  25. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. As hard as it must have been, I am glad you did go home and see her. Please write or don’t write as needed. You are in my prayers.

  26. I’m so sorry to hear about your sister. At least you know that you did what you could for her by being able to go back to be at her side, and to help your mother and your other siblings by your presence. Internet hugs. Just wish I could offer the real thing. My thoughts are with you.

  27. I’m so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling. You are in my thoughts.

  28. My deepest sympathies on your loss.

  29. Lisa, my heart breaks for you, honey! Praying for you from Delaware!

  30. I was so shocked and saddened to read this post, Lisa. I am so sorry, and just hope that you can find comfort and solace in your own way. Allow yourself to grieve, don’t bottle it up.
    In a way, we (your loyal readers) feel we know you, and it truly made my heart hurt for you. Sending a lot of love and positive thoughts your way.

  31. I’m so very sorry. I’ll be praying for you and your family.

  32. Just now reading this, & crying…I am sorry.

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