Broken Daughters

Picking up the shattered glass of fundamentalism



I’ve been incredibly stressed out with school and family life lately. I had a whole bunch of tests to take before the holidays as well as in January and since I was to do real good I spent most of my time studying. I’m not really good with math so I had a math-genius friend help me out a lot.

All of this school work got me thinking what I want to do after school.

Right now I’m 99% sure I want to study at some university. But that comes with a lot of questions! First off, WHERE do I want to go? Stay here? Go to the US? This question was rather easy for me to answer: I’d stay and study here. The very simple reason for that is that school and university here are entirely, 100% free. I wouldn’t have to worry about getting the money together or getting a loan. A loan is something I’m very, very afraid of. I guess that’s because of my upbringing, where dept was among the “worst sins” you could commit. Obviously it’s not a sin in the biblical way, but I was told to fear it and that’s just how I still view it.

But if I stayed here, where would I go? Lately I’ve had a thing for the big cities, just the dream to live in a big city for some time, be a city girl, do city girl stuff – whatever that means. Berlin, Cologne, Munich, Frankfurt – so many places I’d love to live in! But there are Universities in smaller towns too! Most prominent there is Heidelberg, a University which is also considered one of the best in Germany and Europe (Berlin still tops it in subjects like medicine etc).

And once I decide where to go, what will I study? I’m leaning towards teaching. Not elementary school though, I’d rather go for older kids aka high school. I’m thinking English would be great but I’ll need another subject (at least one more) to teach. I’d love to take history, mainly because it really really interests me, but to sign up for a degree in history you need to know latin, which I don’t. Maybe German would be good but I heard it was really hard.

And all of that opens up another bunch of questions: If I were to get a teaching degree, what would I do if I wanted to go back to the US? I think it’d be a major issue to get a teaching licence for the US, and if I studied in the US it’d be very hard to get a licence for Europe.

Oh my, it’s really a complex issue.

But among all those questions and worries I really do find some positive things too. I’d never be here, at this point, wondering, if I stuck to my old life. It’s so freeing to worry about these things ON YOUR OWN. Nobody to tell you what to do. Nobody to hold you back. I can be what I want to be and in that, I’m already what I always wished I could be.

13 thoughts on “University?!

  1. Even without being QF, debt is just a pain in the backside. It is best to stay away from it when possible, and since in your country university is free (and I’m so jealous), then that would be smartest. I went to college for less than a year before my 1st husband died. It was hard to concentrate on studies, so I dropped out. I owe $7,000 in debt that the IRS can take my tax refund (and now my new husband’s tax refund) for if they choose to. They can also garnish my wages if I go back to work.

    Believe me, if either of us had a career that was in demand in the U.K., we’d be moving out of the U.S. in a heartbeat. We just can’t find a legal way for a truck driver and a secretary to do so.

    • Oh my that’s terrible! I’m so sorry. I really hope that you will find a way to work your way out of that situation. Thinking of you!

    • Actually, they can’t take it out of your husband’s refund if the debt was incurred before your marriage. I had the same situation, and there’s a separate form to file (I can’t remember the name) that prevents them from garnishing his part of the refund.

  2. Note that private schools in the US aren’t required to hire only credentialed teachers; even if they usually require a teaching certificate, they may be flexible about substituting foreign credentials plus experience, especially if they are hiring for language skills or other specialized abilities.

  3. Here are my thoughts on picking a school: everyone I know who started Uni with a major in mind, changed it. If you have a strong calling, go to the school that would be best for that, but if you don’t, choose a city where you would like to live. Often the first year is as much about learning what you’re *not* interested in as what you are.

    Good luck!

    • Oh yes, so many people say that! I always thought once you’re in, you’ll most likely stick to it and if you don’t it makes you somewhat of a loser, but so far every person I talked to changed at least once. Makes me feel much better about it, now that I kind of know it’s not the final decision!

  4. Also most public schools in the US have ’emergency’ or ‘streamlined’ licensing procedures for those with non-traditional credentials (such as European degrees and certification), so it may not be that big a deal if you decided to come back. I’ve never lived in Europe, but we’ve considered relocating for a few years (particularly to Germany), and from everything I’ve read it appears that Europe has stricter standards than the US. Getting educated and credentialed in Europe and then transferring to the US seems a much easier process than the other way around. (Plus, while debt isn’t a sin, if you can get what you want without incurring debt, all the better!)

    How wonderful that you have all these possibilities to consider! Good luck!

    • Really? I need to collect some info on that. There’s be visiting days on universities in early summer, so I’ll go look into the different degrees and meet with a couselor on that, I’m sure they’ll know SOMETHING. I can’t wait for visiting days!!! We’ll be allowed to attend classes with the real university students and there’ll be some guides too! SO EXCITING!

  5. My husband is currently in an education program here in the US so I think I can answer some of your concerns. Yes, private schools have different requirements, but the good ones do require employees to be certified. Certification does not typically transfer from state to state so I doubt it would transfer from one country to another. On the flip-side…some states allow you to seek certification while you are teaching if you have credentials from another state, so that might also be the same for another country.

  6. So good to hear from you again and to know that you are doing so well. I had to chuckle at the irony: strictly homeschooled girl pursues teaching credential! I wish you well.

    • Haha yeah isn’t it funny? I always HATED teaching my siblings, and I wasn’t one for studying myself! But every since I started going to school here I started to really like it! It would’ve been the same in the US I think. It’s just so social, so much fun to have with the people in your classes, always someone around who can help you, always people to meet. Plus, and that’s the biggest thing for me, it’s amazing to have a teacher who can NOT hold grudges to you in your private life like your parents can when you’re homeschooled. In homeschool I always had that fear that making a mistake will get me into trouble for the rest of the day, week, month. Just so much fear! Now, when I’m in class, I have a teacher who I won’t see back at home, who I can stand my ground to if I disagree, I can get over my weaknesses much quicker when I go home. I can move on so much easier! And it’s also great that the teacher doesn’t have the responsiblity to make “good people” out of us. He/She teaches us, that’s it. No strings attached. There’s no responsibility on them so they’re so easy going and fun. Plus, since all of the people in my school are adults, it’s much more of a respectful relationship than a parent-child relationship. They see us somewhat as equals who want to learn something new. And they all seem to have a lot of fun with their work even if it’s hard. I wish I could be like that!

  7. I started studying to be a teacher, but I messed some stuff up in the planning stages and ended up having to veer off in a different direction. There’s a big part of me that regrets it, and all my friends who finished the teaching program seem to really love it.

    Don’t think of this in terms of the rest of your life. It’s just too big! Instead, think about your time in university, and then 4-5 years after. By that point, you’ll have enough experience that you’ll be able to get your qualifications to teach in the US fairly easily (especially since you speak English fluently!).

    If you want to go for history, why not? Latin is difficult, but you can definitely do it if you work hard. I only took it for a semester, but I’ve found even that has been surprisingly useful.

    But generally, I’d say don’t stress about it. The important thing is to be happy. Beyond that, I think that you have the resourcefulness to make a living no matter what you study, so maybe focus on studying the things that interest you and that make you happy.

  8. Hi i am twenty years old i believe god made me have a miscarriage to spare for evil due to how hellish things were in my life!!! identity crisis i had told my dad i am not ready to be a mother a wife of leaderof the household. god knows i can wait!!! while on tv.. it shows people who had kid early and a man who wants to leave the family cuz he forgot why??? what a coward!!! but no judgement sometimes people are in trouble and need christians help like i did!!! i use to think just because my bf felt sad and horrid about no baby likewise me we kept trying but!! thank god has not happened. and do not want it to i have been through alot. and i love mandisa not going to class right now i feel emotionally exhausted….. this is why i had been falling back in school and could not keep a job b4 … so god knowing my soul spared my life got a new job ladies and starting to love it living back at home with my parents its great that jesus came down to save us from stoners and the law!!

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