Broken Daughters

Picking up the shattered glass of fundamentalism

God hates fags, that’s why he made AIDS.


Heard that one before?

I remember my Dad looking at a man who was supposedly gay (not officially). Dad (note: I mistyped God here first… Freudian slip?) told us kids that God hates “fags”. Sodomites! Perverse ones who engage in perverse sodomy. I had not the slightest clue what sodomy really was – it could’ve been a sinful game of cards for all I knew. But Dad said that God hated fags, so I hated fags too. I said that out loud when I was small and those were the days I was Daddy’s girl.

My Dad told us kids that sodomy – being gay – caused AIDS. In the 20th century, when more and more sodomites appeared, and when people started taking drugs and sleeping with each other without being married, he made AIDS to make all of those people suffer and ultimately to kill them. I was really afraid of getting too close to gay people. I didn’t want to get their AIDS! I was afraid that their gayness would rub onto me and then I’d have AIDS and die and go to hell because I committed sodomy. Some days I was so afraid, I didn’t even want the guy at the checkout counter touch my hand when he gave me my change. He looked so stylish, I bet he was one of those AIDS-fags. I once saw a transvestite when we took a day trip to a bigger city, and it scared me half to death. I swear, if he had come into the shop we were in, I would’ve run out crying, afraid of him spewing out AIDS.

I’m thankful I don’t have to think that way any more. I’m not afraid of gay people any more. But that took a lot of convincing. And a lot of making sense of it. I want to go through some of the questions I asked myself in order to understand what it’s really about.

1. AIDS is something gays and promiscuous people get.

Partially true. Being faithful to each other helps prevent AIDS. But so do condoms. Aids is mostly something careless people get, excluding the ones who got it for other reasons (rape, trusting their spouse and being cheated on, blood transfer etc). I don’t believe that infected people run around forcing people not to use condoms. It’s a mutual decision. It can be prevented if everyone takes responsibility for themselves – and others. I do not mean to offend infected people with this. We all make bad calls, trust the wrong people, get carried away by the moment. It’s human. It takes an effort to constantly remind yourself not to make those bad decisions and I don’t mean to blame anyone who made one or two mistakes – I make them all the time, too.

2. AIDS is something gay people are punished with.

Not true at all. If two gay men get tested, get married and live faithfully together, they won’t get it. If a heterosexual couple doesn’t get tested or cheat on each other, they might get it.

What’s funny to me at this point is that the fundamentalists point out that it’s a curse for all homosexuals. But what about lesbians? You hardly ever hear of infected lesbians! Shouldn’t they be affected just as much as gay men? Matter of fact, You hardly ever find them in the statistics even. Because AIDS transfers via massive exchange of body fluids, and even better if it’s anally due to physical aspects. Women don’t produce massive amounts of fluids to begin with, hence it’s very hard to get it even if you’re sleeping with an infected person. The logic of the punishment for homosexuals crumbles when you look at this. Because, simply by this logic, I’d have to supposed that being a homosexual man is more sinful than a heterosexual person is more sinful than being a homosexual woman. If I don’t apply this sentence, that means that God fails to punish certain people for the exact same sin, and that doesn’t make sense at the end of the day. If God wanted to punish anybody, I’m sure he would do it right – read the old testament for more information on this.

3. Aids is a punishment period.

0.8% of the world population are HIV-infected. 1.3 Million in North America (including Canada, so take out some here to get the US number).

6.5 Million US-Americans have (diagnosed!!!) cancer. No numbers on how many people actually have it including those who don’t know they do (obviously).

I was taught that people who have Aids are being punished. You can actually have a decent life with Aids these days. Imagine how many people die a cruel, slow death from cancer. How many more have it. How many fundamentalists have it. So what’s that talk about punishment?

Oooooh I forgot. Of course. If a non-christian gets sick, he’s being punished. If a christian gets sick, he’s being tested. Silly me.

I feel terrible that I used to think that way about people, no matter if they’re straight, bi, gay, whatever. Seriously ashamed. I swallowed up everything I was served. At one point because I was too young to know better and get informed, at another because I was too ignorant and scared to question it. I really wish I could make up for it somehow, but I don’t think that works. I wish I could apologize to every gay man (because, funny enough, I never even considered gay women!) as well as to every HIV-infected person (whatever they might be) for thinking that way about them.


13 thoughts on “God hates fags, that’s why he made AIDS.

  1. You just did apologize. Considering the circumstances, I’m sure they would all understand. It’s teaching like that which makes people turn away from any form of Christianity. And that’s really sad because Jesus said God loves the world. (John 3:16) There were no qualifiers there. God loves the world–period. God does not hate people. He hates certain behaviors including lying, cheating, stealing, drunkenness and overeating. But He doesn’t hate people.

  2. God doesn’t hate people, he hates the sin right? That is terribly offensive to gay people. Because you have just labeled homosexuality as one of the behaviors God hates. Being homosexual isn’t like gambling. Homosexuality is hard-wired into the brain. It is a way of BEING – a recently scientifically studied sort of third gender. It isn’t like choosing to steal or drink. It is like being male or female – haven’t you been keeping up with your science? There are things such as finger ratios that are greater in gay men and due to hormone differences in the womb. Autopsies that have revealed consistently that gay men’s brains look and are formed more like the female than the male gender, and clear statistics and facts like – if you are the second born son or especially third born you have a greater chance of being homosexual because of the mother’s hormonal productions. . . things like that.

    God loves people? Funny, because it’s the people he is sending to burn in everlasting torment while worms continuously eat them and they gnash their teeth in agony and beg for a drop of water on their tongue. Hard to separate the “sin” from the “sinner” there, isn’t it? Because the sinner is sure suffering for his sin. Also, God does hate people if you read your Old Testament. “Jacob have I loved, Esau have I hated.” Jesus said God loves the world. But He also said that you will burn in hell if you don’t believe in Him – Jesus, as God’s son. Did you know that only 32% of this entire world believes this stuff? That’s right. Christianity is one religion of several, and it is certainly bold to believe that Jesus is the only way to “heaven” when billions of other people believe no such thing. It’s more a question of where you were born, and what you were taught.

    • I suppose you’re not aware of my background. I grew up in exactly this belief and I left the religious group I spent most of my life in. I don’t think you could even consider me “christian” at this point any more.

      “God doesn’t hate people, he hates the sin right?”
      You see, the theological reality doesn’t matter – it doesn’t matter at all in the different fundamentalist movements. Nowhere in the bible does it say that Fathers have the right to keep their daughters at home until they are married, no matter how old they are, that women aren’t allowed to get an education, anything. The theological reality of the bible can be stretched to extends you don’t even think about.

      The issue with God hating only the sin, or maybe him hating the person as well is cleared by salvation, if you’Re saved, he just hates your sin, if you’re not, he’s free to hate you and what you do, but he kind of loves you too… It’s very confusing and doesn’t make sense at the end of the day.

      REALITY in a sense of what’s happening in the world isn’t based on anything bibical. There are people holding up signs such as “God hates fags”. There are people who go to FUNERALS screaming slurs about the homosexual who’s being burried. That is the reality, that’s what I was taught is right, and that’s what I believed.

      I’m sorry if I didn’t make my point clear enough: I don’t believe that God hates gay people, I don’t believe that they’ll burn in hell, and I certainly don’t believe that there is any justification in the world to do stuff like what I described.

      • Yes, I am aware of your background – the way the message posts are set up can be a bit confusing – I was responding to fiveboysmom’s attempt to defend God’s view of homosexuality. Our backgrounds are terribly similar and I LOVE reading your blog and your progress. It is painful for me at times, but very healing. Keep up the great work!! It is a process of deprogramming and coming to a more complete understanding of the complicated factors in society, like AIDS.

        • That’s weird, I checked twice to see who you were responding to and it didn’t show up as a reply. BUT that’s right, that happens A LOT. It’s annoying me so much, I’m thinking of changing theme so I can check it in the post…

        • I know this conversation happened 2 years ago but I think you were awfully presumptuous about fiveboysmom’s beliefs. She actually didn’t say any of those things that you assumed she was saying and even if she is a christian, that doesn’t mean she believes the things you’re saying she does.

  3. I understand where you are going with this, but I think saying that AIDS is something people get because they are careless is wrong and potentially very hurtful. The vast majority of the people with AIDS in the world live in countries with epidemic levels of the illness. Many contract it at birth, through rape, monogamous sex, unsafe blood transfusion or access to needles. In countries like Thailand, sex workers are at high risk, but describing them as careless would display a gross misunderstanding of the reasons and social forces that lead people into that line of work. Like all diseases, AIDS is easier to avoid (and easier to treat) if you live in a wealthy country and can afford decent education and health care.

    Even in the USA, in the early days of the infection, the highest risk groups were those dependent on blood transfusions, IV drug users, gay men and Haitians. The perception that, unlike other diseases, this is one that has “innocent” and “guilty” victims, and even the obsession with identifying how people got the disease, has everything to do with homophobia and a false perception of it as a “gay” disease. You can lower your risk factors for most diseases, and certainly for viral ones. But we don’t blame flu victims for being careless, or say those with malaria should have installed mosquito netting.

    A large part of the reason that people won’t disclose their HIV status is because of the judgement that is still associated with having contracted it. I do understand your point is that it is isn’t a disease of gay men, but it isn’t a disease of careless people either – it’s just a disease. And right now – one that is ravaging Africa.

    • Thank you, Sojourner, for articulating what I found very offensive on a gut level but couldn’t put into words.

    • The HIV infection rate for gay and bisexual men is over 44 times higher than for those men who are not. No amount of PC whitewash is going to change that fact and that statistic is from the CDC.

  4. I also had a bit of a problem with saying that AIDS is something that careless people get Actually, it’s something that poor people get. If you’re rich and get HIV, you can get medications to deal with that and will almost certainly never develop AIDS. Who contracts STD;s is based a lot on access to information and access to healthcare. In the U.S. nearly all women who have HIV have a history of violence in their background. In poor African countries, improvement in women’s rights leads to decreasing HIV infections because women then have an ability to say no to sex and no to marriage. I’m sure you didn’t mean to imply that those who don’t get HIV are smarter, but that’s kind of how it sounded.

    • No I didn’t mean “smart” at all. The African issue with Aids is completely removed from the “gay-disease” discussion – fundamentalist stance on Aids in Africa is based on their supposed voodoo/witch faiths, which is just as bad as the gay disease theory. It is true that you can’t use that “carelessness” theory on many countries in the world where there is no access to information and knowledge, leave alone medication.
      I was only referring to the American/European people. And yes, a lot of women who have it are victims of violence and unfaithful spouses (men too!). That’s another reason why the “gay punishment” theory doesn’t hold.

      However, you’re right, I thought about it some more and even though I personally lived in America and SHOULD have had access to all possible information on HIV, I didn’t because my parents kept it from me. I think if things would’ve gone differently, I might as well got it without even knowing why. And all of that in a country where people believe they know so much. And I bet I’m not the only one who didn’t have access to information or material to prevent it (e.g. condoms).

  5. You’re glossing over the extreme public health problems posed by gay males. According to the CDC the rate of new HIV infections is over 44 times higher among gay and bi sexual men than straight men. There is no glossing over that. It’s an unhealthy lifestyle and the HIV infection rate proves it. Trying to deny the sky high HIV rates among gay males is futile. You try to focus on monogamy but gay males are not as monogamous as their heterosexual counterparts, probably because of the natural tendency of the female of the species to be more selective than the male of the species. Whatever the reason their HIV rates are through the roof and are a public health crisis.

  6. I was raised around all kinds of civil rights folks. Guess what, they teach just as much hate and intolerance as any of the small churches I have volunteered in. They ostracize people the same way, and some say “I’m a ‘neo-nazi’ not an ‘old school nazi'” as if that is some kind of justification for acting the same way with different clothes. I’m a Rastafarian, you think I get any respect from the anti-intellectual crowd? Nope. I’m not supposed to hate even in retaliation, “turn the other cheek” and all. When I sin it is me killing Christ, that’s between me and the creator. If others try and get involved, screw them, not their biz. I struggle with all kinds of hate, since I’m related to tons of haters. I want to flee the country because they are destroying the world and getting rich at it. I really do hate Nazi ideology, I’m not supposed to hate the individuals, but they teach hate. I really like hating those proponents of inbreeding. The want to play god, I want to commit deicide on their false faces.

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