Broken Daughters

Picking up the shattered glass of fundamentalism

Lisa has a nervous breakdown!


Yes, I’m still having one! It might just be a permanent condition by now!

I’ve been a bit MIA lately. I didn’t really want to post about it because, to be quite honest, I was afraid of posting it before it was over, afraid of people saying “awww I’m sorry” cause I can’t stand people feeling sorry for me. I was really afraid. But now’s the time to say it…

My written exams are overrrrrrrrrr!!!! Wooooh!

Yes, my last, final, super important exams. Over. This is so weird. I never thought I’d say this.

I studied a lot the last few months, I’m sure you could tell I took a lot of time off blogging due to math and german and the other stuff I really had to work hard to get through. The last few weeks have been so hard.

I studied 12-16 hours a day. I developed the strangest eating habits. I lost 15 pounds, which is bad because I’m already on the skinny side and I’m not looking good right now. My friends were very worried but I just forgot about eating!

Some days I cried for hours while I studied, thinking I couldn’t possibly pass. My friends couldn’t convince me to take breaks, and if they managed to get me out, I was close to tears afraid I’d lose too much time. I felt like therr couldn’t possibly be enough hours in the day to study.

On one occasion I called Daniel at work – I used the “emergency number” where I actually end up with their in-store hotline, so they could call him into the phone room. Obviously he turns off his cell at work. When he got to the phone he sounded really worried. This is how the conversation went:

D: What’s wrong sweety?!?!

Me: I have a huge problem. *sob* I…. *sob* I have to staple some of my papers together *sob* so they stay orderly *sob* and I can’t find any staples *sob* I just canT find any, or anything else I could use… *sob*… baby I don’t have staples! What do I do now?! *cry*

D: …. What?

Me: Staples… I don’t know where to get staples to staple my papers together, you know. I need them! I can’t do anything without staples! I’ll fail if I don’t find staples! But there are none at home!

D: *giggles* Ok, go to the grocery store.

ME: How?! I don’t know!

D: *giggling some more* ok, go get into your car, drive to the grocery store, take your stapler with you, and ask them to give you some. Buy like a thousand just to make sure.

ME: What if they don’t have any?

D: Then you come here and I’ll let you have one of the work staplers. But try the grocery store first.

Can you believe how much better I felt after this conversation? I took my stapler with me, found an employee at the grocery store, wiped my red eyes and muttered “…need staples…” and pushed the stapler at him. I bought a thousand pieces pack.

I feel much better talking about all this now. Even though I don’t have my grades yet, I know I passed. I just know I answered enough on every test to at least pass. Now all I have to do are the oral exams, two of them. They’re mandatory, so even if you can’t improve in any of your subjects, you have to take two. I don’t know what I’ll be doing since I don’t have my grades yet, but I’m not really afraid of that anymore. Everybody says they won’t let you fail there anymore as long as you show up.

Now it’s finally the time I can look forward to something else I never thought I’d have…

Prom. Yup. We’re going to have an all-american-styled prom. Pretty dresses, dinner, and a little party. I can’t wait!!! I’m going to go dress shopping next week or so. I don’t have anything particular in mind… well, I’d like a long, sleek, tight-fitting black dress… maybe an open back or something. Not too much bright color or a lot of ruffles and stuff. We’ll see!

Now I’m off to enjoy this beautiful hot day, go to the lake, relax a bit and spend some time with the people I pretty much ignored the last few weeks!

Oh, and by the way, I’m happy to announce that the staples I bought will probably carry me through university. After all, I have 999 left.


7 thoughts on “Lisa has a nervous breakdown!

  1. Congratulations on surviving your exams. I’m a wreck in exam season too so I can conmiserate with you. I have had my own freaking out moments but I’ve never one as funny as yours XP

    I hope you enjoy your prom!!

  2. The staples story made me laugh! But I can’t laugh at your nervous breakdown. I used to not believe in nervous breakdowns. I thought people were just being dramatic. Then my in-laws moved in with us and I nearly had one myself! I don’t even remember what specific event triggered it, just that I found myself in the car with Hubby stomping my feet and screaming at the top of my lungs. Oh, it’s funny now but it was anything but funny at the time. Congrats on finishing your exams! Prom sounds amazing (I’ve never been to one)! I hope you find the perfect dress!

  3. I was chuckling by the end but, yeah, been there, done that, survived. I’ve been known to wonder if I could study while driving (I didn’t) and be up until 4 or 5 in the morning typing research papers. Finals week here is the worst because the boys taking exams are all tense and studying and the rest of us are walking on eggshells trying not to disturb them with words like “dinner?”

    Enjoy your prom! And when shopping for the dress, don’t forget you will probably pick up a few pounds now that the stress has ended or at least let up.

  4. would it help you to know that we’ve all had those moments in both high school and college?

  5. Good for you!! I think we’d all like to read part 20 of your life story πŸ™‚ (btw sorrrrry if I’m being pushy!!)

  6. I know EXACTLY how you feel about the staples. It happens all the time, and it leaves me in tears constantly. In fact, pretty much everything about the exam situation is me, except for the 12 hour studying sessions. I’m a master procrastinator, so it takes a lot of time wasting before the guilt sets in and I go and read voraciously for some time.

    Good luck with your exams. πŸ™‚ Mine finished last month, and my results don’t come out until July. So for now, I’m just going to relax. You probably should too. You’ve deserved it.

  7. Ha! I know how you felt there. I think most everyone in college had this sort of breakdown at some point. The only one who didn’t were those who seemed to thrive on the stress. These students would actually do better with projects and exams than usual.

    (It’s like how test pilots have to be adrenaline junkies, to be willing to get in those untested planes and fly them.)

    I didn’t have that much trouble with stress with my exams and projects, however, after all the exams and the end of the semester… I would be running around going “WHAT DO I DO *NOW*? I HAVE NOTHING TO DO! MY BRAIN CANNOT FUNCTION WITHOUT DEADLINES! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO! I NEED A PROJECT/EXAM!” It was very weird, and it would take me about a week to shake out of that odd mood.

    I’m sure you did well. Good luck on the oral exams! (And you don’t want to know where the word ‘oral’ takes my brain…)

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