Broken Daughters

Picking up the shattered glass of fundamentalism



Wow. I can tell you, I had an awful load of stuff to do over the last few weeks. I thought about updating my blog so many times, but I never got around to do it.

The weather has been amazing, which lead me to spend a lot of time with friends, just outside, in one of those cute little cafes where you can just sit in the middle of the road and watch the activity, on the lake, relaxing and reading, swimming and warm summer nights in the garden.

We all had a great three weeks with the European football championship too! There were so many public feasts with BBQs and live music and hundreds and hundreds of people watching the game on a huge open air screen. The singing and celebrating the many times the German team won, and also celebrating the one time we lost (which kicked us out) and just being happy that we had the chance to celebrate it for as long as we could.

I have also been considering school options, visited many places to see what it’s like there and finally made a decision which schools would be an option for me. I’ve come to the decision that I want to go to a school close to where I live, which gives me a Top 3 university list. I decided to do that because I just don’t feel ready to go out and start over again. At least not now, after such a short time. I feel like I still need my family close as well as all the friends I made. They know me so well and I just don’t want to start over all alone again. I guess I just still need the help they give me. I’m going to sign up for three different majors. Those majors are law, a teaching degree in English and German, and a major in culture and ethnicities studies. The latter two will accept me right away, I know that because they don’t filter for high school grades but actually filter via the finals after the first semester. For law you need a certain average that I did not meet, however, not that many people sign up for it. The advisor at my favourite school told me that the last 5 years all applications were accepted because there was enough room for everybody. She told me I had to apply right now even if I don’t meet the conditions because if I don’t, I won’t be eligible for the “leftover spots”.

I might even be able to keep my job at the cafe if I stay close. I’d be really happy with that. I like the people, the work and the hours. But, just like before, I don’t “depend” on my job. I will be getting social student loans. It basically works like this: If you study at a college or university, you get about 440 Euros a month (that’s the max, less or nothing if your parents make too much). This is a semi loan, meaning that if you finish with a degree, 50% of that will be gifted to you, the other 50% you can pay back once you start making enough money to pay it back. If you drop out without a degree, you have to pay back 100% of it. If you make it into the top graduates of the major in that year in your school, you’ll be gifted even more. If you, say, were the best graduate in law in your school, you’d end up paying back only 20% of the loan. Either way, it’s a great way to relieve some of the pressure. Of course 400 Euros won’t make a nice lazy life. It’s barely enough to survive. But if I keep working I’ll have a good living, enough to pay for books and rent and food and going to the movies once a month.

As you can see, everything else seems so far away right now. I’m so happy at this point in my life. All the things I did, the things I felt terrible about, suddenly seem so worth it. Everything is so perfect.

I hope all of you get the enjoy the summer as much as I will! No worries, I will not forget to blog. Don’t worry about me if I don’t post as much as I used to for the next few weeks, I will certainly be back to full time blogging soon! And of course I will blog about whatever is going on!

6 thoughts on “Whoops!

  1. Glad things are going so well! Good luck in the college admission process!

  2. Happy that you are so happy and things are going well! I Enjoy reading your blog, Have a great rest of the summer! 🙂

  3. You can make more than 440 Euros. That’s about the average, but the maximum is 670. In addition to your income, it depends on your living expenses or travel costs and your dependents

    • Yes I did not include additional support you may get for housing and such. Plus, I’m not 100% informed about additional benefits I can get as a university student, but I will soon once I go to the office!

      • You can’t get any other federal benefit while studying since bafög is meant as all of them combined for students. You may look into Kindergeld until you’re 25 tough, with a german passport you might be eligable (if you don’t have it, try to get an additional german passport, Staatsbürgerschaft gets passed down here by heritage. It’ll allow you to live/work/study everywhere in Europe). Go to the Sozialberatung of your university of choice and ask them what you could get, they mostly are well informed.

        I just discovered your blog and am shocked that such a society you lived in while in the states is possible. I live in Germany and consider myself a Christian but can’t find much of my belief in your accounts. Do you know of any such abused folks outside the states?

        Lastly: congrats on your Abi! In university you’ll notice many people starting at 19-21 years old, right after attending Gymnasium from grade 5 to 13, but (depending on major) there are also many people older, so you’ll fit in there just fine 🙂

        • Well, if you consider yourself member of either the catholic or the German protestant church, you won’t share any of these beliefs because they don’t exist in those churches here 😛
          These beliefs aren’t the norm in America either. But the groups of fundamentalist christians in much much larger there than it is here. You can find them here too – Do you know what “Freikirchen” are (“free churches”, just to translate)? Some of them, not all! But some share very similar beliefs but they stay under the radar. They don’t have this very open-confrontational behaviour as those in the states do.
          There are certainly some groups around outside of the US, I personally don’t know of any in Germany or Europe in general and I’m not eager to contact them =)

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