Broken Daughters

Picking up the shattered glass of fundamentalism

Here’s some news . . .



So, I’ve been considering to try to get into law school. My little inside self laughed at me, saying that this is about 50 sizes too big for me, but hey, I could try, I mean, I have no chance anyway but I could try. I somehow lived in this world where lawyers have a hard time even getting into their school and all that. I could never be a lawyer. I better try for nurse, or kindergartener – not saying that those are easy jobs or easy studies, it’s just that they would be so much closer to what I learned in life. I’m not afraid of blood and gore, I can act when somebody is hurt, I know how to deal with kids. A lawyer? Totally out of personality for me.

Well, what can I say.

I got into law school! And it wasn’t even hard!

See the thing is, the counselor I asked about law was from another school, the one I want to go to has a different system of accepting students. Namely, they accept everyone and weed out themselves.

And that’s pretty scary. A young woman at the office – a student herself, she’s just helping out there during tough hours with the paper work – smiled when I was surprised that everyone is admitted for the first semester.

“Most leave anyway” she smiled.

“Well… umm… how many, I mean, is there a rough estimation?”

“Well, many leave after the first semester, because, you know, 13 tests in one week is plenty. And then you can’t repeat some tests, so you have to pass those first try. We got some tests where 90% fail. And then, there’s the final exams at the end of your studies, where again 40% fail.”

Gulp. Well that sounds pleasant. I was told that law is hard and you have to work a lot to pass, but this exceeds my expectations. My friends told me she probably meant well telling me that, as in scaring me so I’ll put in all my time and I won’t end up failing. But still…

Right now I’m at the point where I don’t want to back out from this. I want to try. Just to see. I’ll try the first semester and see. Maybe I’ll make it and don’t like it, maybe I’ll fail, maybe I’ll stay. 6 months isn’t a lot of time to try. 6 months which, whatever happens, will teach me a lot about myself and my life. Yep, totally accepting the challenge. 6 months of law, and then I’ll see what I can do.


11 thoughts on “Here’s some news . . .

  1. Congratulations on your decision to engage with what makes you smile. 🙂 You are right – give it a try and you will learn a lot about yourself and your life in the process. I’ll look forward to hearing about your new journey along the way. And you’ve inspired me about my own next steps!

  2. When I first read this, I was so excited for you. I think you’re certainly capable of doing this! But from what you’ve written here, I’m a little worried about this particular school. It sounds like they aren’t very invested in the success of their students. Are they seriously saying that sure they’ll take your money for the first year, but most likely you’ll fail and won’t graduate? Is that seriously what she was telling you?

    I think it’s always best to go to a school that VALUES you properly and believes in your success! Some will even give scholarships depending on your LSAT score. If the law school isn’t picky about its incoming students, what kind of law firm is going to hire its graduates? Ask them some SERIOUS questions about their employment rate after graduation, and examine the statistics they’re giving you.

    • Actually, they won’t be taking my money because school here is (almost) free!
      I think the general problem with law is that many people want to do it but they don’t know what it means to study law. I have already seen girls in the office who signed up for law clearly just to find a good match – no intention to finish. Others again think it’s just learning a bunch of paragraphs – now how hard can that be? Or they want to be one of those passionate TV lawyers who seem to be better at investigating as any FBI veteran. And others again sign up because of parental pressure and so on. This is, of course, known in schools, that many sign up with wrong expectations and just don’t have it in them to go through with it. I’m not saying I’m any better, I won’t know what it’s like until I’m in it, even if I have visited a few open classes to take a look.
      Law studies here are regulated by federal offices (I do not know what thats like in the US, sorry!). Basically means that every law school is effectively the same – the same classes, tests and such, as the criteria simply has to be fullfilled and it seems it’s quite a lot to cover in 5-6 years of studies (plus another 2 years internship at a court/agency/firm/whoever needs a lawyer).
      Personal success, yes I agree with you on that one, but it’s a general issue here that many law schools leave their students to their own fate – it’s a get rich or die trying attitude. I suppose they feel like it’s going to train people for real life, which might be correct, but I generally wasn’t satisfied with any of the options law schools offered. It would be great to have more support classes, repetitions and mentors for everyone – they told me to get together with groups of higher semesters for repetition and studying, that’s about it. Law is really among the most unpopular studies here simply because it’s such a tough ride.
      I guess I’ll just have to see what options open up at my particular school, I was told to come to a bunch of introductionary classes to get my stuff together, and I’ll report back how the support is working out!

  3. Just go for it! Give it a try and see how you do. Don’t let anybody convince you that you cannot do it. Give your best and find out what happens.

    I was raised in a fundie-lite evangelical family (pastor’s kid) here in Germany. And even though nobody would question that I could go to University and study, it was kind of settled (without discussion, of course) that the only thing appropriate for a girl/woman would be studying to become a (primary) school teacher….

    So by the time I applied for Uni I knew I didn’t want to become a teacher (I#m just not good with kids at all), but I could only muster up the courage to apply for political sciences. Which wasn’t a bad choice and I really enjoyed my time at University. But: What I *really* wanted to study was Law. And I just didn’t think I had it inside me to successfully complete law studies. And there was nobody in my environment to encourage me, who told me to think big, that I could do it, and to just try and see what will happen… Looking back (that was 20 years ago) and knowing what I know today, and seeing all the morons and douchebags that successfully get through law school I know that I could have done it… I just didnt believe it at the time.

    So yeah, good for you! Hope you’ll have a good time at University and a good start into your first semester.

    All the best,

  4. Go for it! Whether you decide to stick with it or not, it will show you a bit about another way of life. I really admire your sense of adventure.

    If you don’t make it the first semester, is it possible to try again later when you’re more prepared?

    • Yes, I was told that if I end up dropping out I can always come back. The grades I collected until I drop out will then be acknowledged and I won’t have to visit those classes again. However, if I failed tests I can’t repeat (or fail 3 times on the same test), I would be blocked to resume the studies (even if I didn’t drop out they’d block me after 3 fails) – but I was told that this was close to impossible, because if I felt I’m not ready for a test I can just sign out a few days before taking it, so basically, if I feel I can’t make it I’ll just sign out of all the classes before dropping out and I’ll be fine.
      Then again, somebody told me that the 3 fails rule is a myth and many test can be repeated multiple times, but IDK. I guess I’ll rather ask the professors and not trust random people haha

  5. Go give it your best! It wouldn’t surprise me if you don’t finish with flying colors!

    And on other topics–Did your mother come to visit? Did she bring the little ones? Did your brother marry? Are they expecting? Did you go to the wedding? (I’m guessing no on that one.) And do you think you will finish your original story or are you so far beyond it that you no longer feel the need?

    • Hah a bunch of questions!
      No, my mom couldn’t make it due to major financial issues – I wanted to support her and I think I could have paid the travel expenses, but she said she didn’t want me to spend that much money at this point, hence we agreed to delay it to some time this fall/winter (maybe Nov/Dec). Yes, my brother did get married in August, however I have yet to see all the pictures, I only received 10 or so. I was not invited in any way other than my mother telling me the date and saying “It would be nice if you could come but I know you’re too busy to”, so go figure. They are NOT expecting (but it’s still a bit early for that isn’t it?) and I don’t think I’m going to find out very early once they are.
      I have actually thought about finishing the story multiple times the last two weeks, I just didn’t get around to sit down and finish it (I have it drafted though). I keep telling myself that I have to write it one of these days, it just seems pretty far away for me at the moment.

      • Yes, a lot of questions. Too many, most likely and none of them really any of my business. I do wish your brother and his wife well and also real common sense.

        I suppose since they only married in August, it would be a bit soon to even know for certain much less announce it to anyone but each other. And perhaps her mother.

        I hope you can find the time to finish your story but I would totally understand if you didn’t both because you are now busy with school and work and because you may have worked it out in your own mind and heart and have no need to see it in print. I do think it helps those who are in need of escape from those situations to read your story. It’s also helpful to those of us who were only on the fringes of the beginning of the movement to understand what it’s morphed into.

        Enjoy Law if you can or move on to another study. One of my friends’ daughter went to law school in the US and at the beginning of her second year (probably the last year in Germany or the first of the Internship), she was told “tell your family you’ll see them in a year.” Law school in any country, no matter how it is set up as a course of study, is a lot of work. Good luck. I believe you can do it.

  6. I had a professor who gave her super-strict expectations on the first day… and saw a lot of students drop to the point where things became manageable.

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