Broken Daughters

Picking up the shattered glass of fundamentalism

My Sympathies – A letter to D. Phillips


Dear Mr. P.,

my family is a follower of you and your teachings – and also of your friends’ teachings. I hear you engaged in an affair with another woman. I read your heart-wrenching statement on the homepage of vision forum.

Dear Mr. Phillips, I understand your situation. You have apologized and you should be forgiven. It’s the Christian thing to do. I understand how it all came down to this. It’s always the same. It is known that a woman is the one who builds up the house, and also the one who tears it down. I understand, and I know you do, too, that problems in marriage are more often than not caused by a wife’s unruly behavior towards her authority appointed by God himself. It is of utmost importance that you deal with this unruly behavior in appropriate fashion. You must immediately tell your wife that she is a stumbling block, causing you to commit sin, and that she must fully and completely repent of her sins before your behavior can be changed for the future. I have thought about this in detail, and I want to give you a short summary, according to your own convictions and teachings, what your wife is doing wrong. I hope that this will help you when you talk to your wife about the problems she has caused in private.

First, your wife probably didn’t dress as pretty as she used to. She should have. Does she not know that you deserve that, after a long day at work? She should have done more to look pretty for you. She chose not to do it. That is her fault, and her sin. Instead of those feminine dresses, she wore things that were suited for her daily life. She made you look the other way.

Your wife was not submissive enough, I’m sure. She should have done as you said. She should have cleaned the kitchen when you told her guests were coming over. She should have obeyed when you told her you didn’t like that skirt on her, or that new lipstick. But she got rebellious and unsubmissive, and we all understand that no man can deal with a wife like that without looking for something else.

Then, your wife most likely didn’t respect you the way she should have. She didn’t praise you enough for your success. Maybe she didn’t talk much at all anymore. She chose to give you the cold shoulder. That’s unfair, and that’s not what God called her to do. She should have obeyed God.

But things get even worse: She told you that she had a different opinion, didn’t she? She shouldn’t have any opinion to begin with. She should have kept quiet, should have acted meek and gentle. She did not. She drove you away with her rebellious behavior. One day, when she disagreed on that thing in that one Bible verse, you could just feel that she wasn’t your suitable helper anymore. She chose to be a feminist. We all know feminists are evil old hags, spitting their poisonous opinions around and turn men into wimps. Looking for another woman who didn’t commit these sins was the only option you had left. A man needs a feminine woman in his life.

Yes, your wife turned into a real Jezebel – unsubmissive, disrespectful, unloving towards you. She knew that she would make you cheat, and yet she accepted this outlook to follow her sinful emotions.

In the future, you should check all her contacts and relationships. It is very possible that part of her sin is the sin of gossip. Unsubmissive wives are very likely to talk bad about their husbands behind their backs. This fosters the idea that a man is not fully capable of leading the family. Often, there is a person (most likely a feminist) who supports them in their view that you are not Godly enough. She should take action to limit her contacts and relationships. If some of these cannot be cut, make sure your wife is under constant surveillance by an accountability partner when she communicates with possible intruders.

I believe your wife’s behavior is, at least for the most part, caused by sins in her past. Maybe she is damaged goods? You really should ask her if she ever bonded with another man, emotional, physical or spiritual, other than her father and you. Maybe she even had sex prior to marriage. Ask her to repent from her previous sins, fully and completely, before you begin restoring your marriage.

I can not express how much this incident grieves me. I always thought your family a role model. Hearing that your wife wickedly drove you to another woman reminds me that evil is out there, waiting to attack every female to destroy their marriages.

I sincerely hope that my words towards your wife, which I derived from your sermons available all over the internet, have helped you see this situation clearer.

All the best for dealing with your Jezebel!

(Disclaimer: This is a satiric adaption of a number of beliefs held by various evangelical movements. I do not believe that Doug Phillip’s actions were caused in any way, shape or form by any behavior of his wife or things she did or didn’t do. I believe Mr. Phillips alone is to blame for the wrong and right decisions he made and his hurtful behavior is uncalled for by any action of his wife that he might have felt wronged by. I do not know any member of the Phillips family personally and I do not know any of the background of this incident – all of the actions described in this post are purely fictional. This post was written solely to demonstrate core teachings preached directly by Mr. Phillips or teachings endorsed by him via Visionforum or any other organisation, applied to a real-life situation. I sincerely wish the best to both Mr. and Mrs. Phillips and hope both of them will be able to deal with the fallout in a way they deem appropriate.)


2 thoughts on “My Sympathies – A letter to D. Phillips

  1. Yet, sadly that is what they teach. I’m glad someone said it!

  2. Isn’t it always the woman’s fault? Her abusive or adulterous husband leaves and somehow it’s her fault because she’s just not meeting all their needs. Disgusting.

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