Broken Daughters

Picking up the shattered glass of fundamentalism

I’m not dead yet, I’m *alive*

2 Comments

Wow, it’s been ages. I really don’t know where to start.

This page is a few years old now and I have been blogging on an off for almost 2, before that, I blogged somewhat regularly. I feel terrible for not following through with things I had in mind. I apologize for that.

I never expected that life could be so worthwhile. Real life. When I started this blog, I thought, well, I have so much time. I always had – I grew up without any major media to clutter my time and on some days, it was hard to find something to do. Stay at home daughterhood can be very, very boring. So I thought, you know, there’s plenty of time to blog. It’s just like 700 words each post. That’s not a lot.

Turns out, it is. It really is. During my first few months and years apart from my family, I prefered staying at home, keeping to myself and just trying to get my life in order. That gave me lots of time to sit at home and ponder. But now, with university and jobs and friends, actual friends who care about me, my life has become incredibly busy. I still don’t consume a lot of media, because I simply don’t have the time. I prefer to spend my free time away from the computer or the phone, considering that I am forced to spend a lot of time working on the computer for university. Staying inside all day drives me nuts!

And I thought, well, I can work on a schedule. That shouldn’t be so hard. But other things come up all the time and you end up saying “tomorrow” all the time, until you suddenly realize an entire month has passed. Where’d it go? I have no clue!

I wish time would stop, so I could finally catch up. I am happy time doesn’t stop. The constant flow and development makes me so happy I could cry. All that has happened seems like a different age, a different universe. How did I get there? I have no clue.

I’ve been pretty clueless lately.

Yesterday, or maybe three days ago, who knows, I sat in my car and waited for a friend. Suddenly, a very nice memory came to my mind. Do you know those types of memories that come in fragments and feelings and colors? A memory of kisses and giggles, a fragment of me and someone walking hand in hand, getting away secretly, hiding, the smell of lush leafs and stars in the sky, the scent of summer. I smiled to myself and let that memory linger in my mind.

We all have memories like that. They are what remains when everything else is lost. Nobody can take them from you. They are yours to treasure. And sometimes, these memories make you so happy that that very moment existed. The entire world has a reason to exist because that one moment existed for someone, at some point in history.

What I’m trying to say? I have no clue. Spring is coming. Don’t stay at home waiting for life to happen to you. Go out. Go somewhere. Go hike, ride a bike, do something stupid. Meet with your best friend, buy one of those teen magazines and read it to each other while sitting in the grass in the sun. Giggle. Drink good wine. Breathe in deeply. And for one moment, realize that life is all around you and enjoy the fact that this moment exists. It’s a good one, believe me.

2 thoughts on “I’m not dead yet, I’m *alive*

  1. Great thoughts and so true.

    Enjoy life.
    Make it happen.
    Live it to the fullest.
    Because you can!

  2. Glad your still around, and even more glad you are living life fully!

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